HAPPY HOGMANAY

Hoping that you all have a ludicrously wonderful time.

The image on the left is the street party in my hometown of Edinburgh. It looks pretty, but it is bloody cold.

Whereas, the forecast for Melbourne this new years eve, is a paltry 42 degrees.

Cheers everyone. All the best for 2006, i'll be good, promise.

Too Much Time On Their Hands

Now please don't get me wrong, I am not some rabid anti-Christmas dave Mcscrooge, I in fact love the holiday season. I grew up in a house where my mother had the tree up on at least the 1st of December, or earlier, if she could cajole my father into it. We had Christmas cutlery, crockery, salt and pepper shakers for fuck's sake. My mother is one of those people. One of those women that will wear a Christmas sweater.

Which is fine, I tolerated it. It was her favourite time of the year and all that. But what I can't abide is this. People covering the outside of their house with all manner of lights and tacky shit, that make me wanna puke my guts up. "Oooohhhh, look next door has got a flying reindeer, we will need to make sure we get the whole nativity scene in fluro, just to be one up".

This sort of house decorating originated in North America, and has slowly, insidiously, crept it's way across the globe.

In fact, if you go to the gold 104.3 website, they actually have a list of addresses of people who have sent in their own address, for you to set up your own map, and go around and take a butchers at their houses.

As far as I'm concerned, these people have far too much time on their hands. And the husbands probably have little willies as well.

Fake Boobs and Tan Lines Equals Sexy?

What The Fuck!

The Uk's New Ruling Class, CHAVS!

Ok pop quiz, what do the following people have in common?

Mrs Peter Andre

Soccer Wunderkind Wayne Rooney

Uber Slapper Jodie Marsh

King and Queen Posh

Daniella (where is my septum) Westbrook

They are the heroes and icons of these people,

These people are known as chavs.

Chavs are a current plague in the UK, they are infiltrating everywhere. They have managed to turn once proud brand names, such as, burberry and louis vuitton into common as muck crap you would not be seen dead in. They have managed this with stealth and cunning. Burberry ceased production of its baseball cap as a result. However, most chavs are dealing in counterfeit gear anyway. Burberry being a tad out of the price range for most chavs. Check out this car.

What a chaviot. Makes you proud.

I'd be interested to know of any international celebrity chavs, America has white trash, but that is more racial, chav is colour blind. Australia has bogans, but i'm not sure if they are on the same level as their british counterparts.

A History Lesson

James Keir Hardie (1856-1915)

Born illegitimate to Mary Keir, who later married David Hardie.
At the age of 8 Hardie became a bakers delivery boy, earning next to nothing in order to help his family. At the age of 10 Hardie's younger brother was dying and after spending most of the night looking after him, he arrived late for work. His employer sacked him and also fined him a week's wages as a punishment for his unpunctuality. Unable to find work in Glasgow, the family moved back to Lanarkshire, and at the age of eleven, Hardie became a coal miner. (new IR reforms)

Hardie came to the conclusion that the working-class needed its own political party. With the support of Robert Smillie, the leader of the Lanarkshire miners, Hardie began advocating socialism and in 1888 stood as the Independent Labour candidate for the constituency of Mid-Lanark. Hardie first attempt to enter the House of Commons ended in failure as he finished at the bottom of the poll.

In the 1892 General Election Hardie stood as the Independent Labour candidate for the West Ham South constituency in London's industrial East End. Hardie won the election and became the country's first socialist M.P. The tradition at that time was for MPs to wear top hats and long black coats. Hardie created a sensation by entering Parliament wearing a cloth cap and tweed suit

In the House of Commons Hardie began advocating policies that had first been put forward by Tom Paine in his book Rights of Man in 1791. Hardie argued that people earning more than a £1,000 a year should pay a higher rate of income-tax. Hardie believed this extra revenue should be used to provide old age pensions and free schooling for the working class. Hardie also campaigned for the reform of Parliament. He was a supporter of the women's suffrage movement, the payment of MPs and the abolition of the House of Lords.

Hardie had for a long time believed that the various trade unions and the different socialist groups should join forces and form one large political party. Negotiations began in 1899 and the following year a meeting took place in London that resulted in the formation of the Labour Representation Committee. An organisation that eventually developed into the Labour Party.

The 1910 General Election saw 40 Labour MPs elected to the House of Commons. Hardie agreed to become leader again. Hardie's views were not always shared by other Labour MPs. Many disagreed with Hardie's support of women's suffrage. Although opposed to the use of violence, Hardie understood the reasons why some had adopted militant tactics and worked very closely with Sylvia Pankhurst and other socialists in the WSPU. In 1910 George Barnes replaced Hardie as leader of the Labour Party in the House of Commons.

Hardie also disagreed with many members of the Labour Party over the outbreak of war in 1914. Hardie was a pacifist and tried to organize a national strike against Britain's participation in the war. Despite being seriously ill, Hardie took part in several anti-war demonstrations and as a result some of his former supporters denounced him as a traitor. James Keir Hardie died on 25th September, 1915.

Where aretoday'ss James Keir Hardies' when we need them more that ever.

mixing the mix tape

As someone who cannot play a musical instrument, I can play them badly, bagpipe lessons in year eight anybody. I find that making a mix tape even though these days most are made on CD's and compiled from mp3's empowers me to make a soundtrack for any part of my life, or that of friends who I deign to give them to. A mix tape is different to just pulling out your fav tracks and sticking them on a tape or disc. That's a compilation. No anyone who has obsessed for days thinking about what the absolute right song would be to follow that Slayer track will know exactly what I am talking about. It is all about the ebb and the flow of the whole thing, is it ok to do this can you follow two country tracks with some stoner rock. Each individual would probably have their own rules about what they believe to be right and proper in the context of their tape. One good thing about the advent of CD's is that you no longer have that agonising decision of whether to let the song fade out half way through or leave a mass of white noise at the end of a side.

When I was a teenage lad, I would make mix tapes for all of the girls in school that I fancied a shot at, the genius of this was that when my tape did not make it on to their walkman, and get the desired effect I was after I could loftily claim that I was just trying to introduce them to some new music I thought they might like. No need for crippling embarrassment there.

So cheers to the mixtape, an aural snapshot of life.

Vale Richard Pryor

Everyone talks about Lenny Bruce as the godfather of stand up comedy, horse shit I tells you, by the end of his career, old Lenny was smacked to the eyeballs reading his court transcripts. Now laughing Len may have paved the way for stand up to come, but for balls out trailblazing no one holds a candle to Richard Pryor.

Pryor grew up in his grandmother's brothel , where his mother worked, comedy gold already.
He started off as a Bill Cosby type comedian until one night while supporting Dean Martin, got onstage, said "What the fuck am I doing Here?" and promptly walked off again.

What followed was a stream of incendiary stand up routines, and a glut of movie roles and TV shows. With fame came a price however. In 1980 while freebasing he managed to set himself a light, but what did the great man do, well he worked it into his stand up, running across the stage with a lighter above his head screaming "What's this? It's Richard Pryor running down the street". He was later diagnosed with M.S and confined to a wheelchair, but still found the time to put out this gem on his official web site "Sick of hearing this shit about me not talking... Not true... Good days, bad days... But I still am a talkin' motherfucker!"

Pryor died of cardiac arrest at the age of 65 in Encino California. He was pronounced dead at a local hospital at 7:58 a.m. on December 10th 2005. He was brought to the hospital after his wife's attempts to resuscitate him failed. His wife was quoted as saying "at the end, there was a smile on his face."

Quotes from the great man,
I went through every phone book in Africa, and I didn't find one goddamned Pryor!

I'd like to die like my father died... My father died fucking. My father was 57 when he died. The woman was 18. My father came and went at the same time.

Rosa Parks showed us all that one little person can make a whole bunch of noise without so much as a whisper. She showed the world that the color of your skin shouldn't determine what part of the bus you sit in... As you ride through life.

I had some great things and I had some bad things. The best and the worst... In other words, I had a life

I'm not addicted to cocaine... I just like the way it smells.

Rest In Peace you crazy nigger.

in deference to the late great Bill Hicks

While watching the latest sickening images to come out of Cronulla, and the protests that have subsequently come out about the rampant flag burning, I was moved to recall this classic bon mot.

Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag."
"Really? Cause... I bought mine. Yeah, they sell them at K Mart."
"He died in the Korean War."
"Wow, what a coinsidence, mine was made in Korea."
No one and I repeat no one, has ever died for a flag. They may have died for freedom, but that is also the right to burn flags if you want to.

I wholeheartedly concur.

On the subject of fighting them on the beaches I dropped our favourite right wing fuck nuckle a line yesterday, this is what i said to him,
From: Dave H
Comment: Good morning mister bolt, as you are sometimes someone who is mostly in agreement with alan jones, i would be interested to hear what you think his role in the flaming of the situation that happened at the weekend. Having read some of the transcripts that are out, it would appear that he should perhaps come out and say something, rather than hide in his holiday home. Your thoughts please.

Andrew replies:
I thought he went too far, but the claims that he is to blame for what happened or endorsed violence is more the usual Jones-bashing gotcha than the truth. At least Jones gets discussed problems that other outlets prefer to ignore, and in ignoring allow to fester.

May the both suck cocks in hell together,while being forced to watch Alan Bleasedales The Boys From The Black Stuff, and Farenheit 9/11.

This is my first post, I am now an internerd what has the sherriff done to me.