What Is With These Kids?

First it was the fifteen year old giggling gerties telling him how cool he was, now this.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/teens-awesome-encounter-with-pm/2006/07/27/1153816299691.html

"one of the most exciting moments of my life so far" He obviously does not get out that much. It could have been one of the most exciting moments of my life, if he had put that screwdriver to good use.

What kind of children are we raising.

WHAT?

Two Nights Of This

Plus This

Equals

But Fuck Me It Was Worth It.

WE GOT IT

Woo hoo, our new home.

Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It...

Tour Of Footy

This weekend myself and Dirty Derek will be embarking on a tour of footy. We have decided to try and watch four games of the national game over three days. We are more than happy for anyone else to join our cause, even if it is just a mercy mission of one game. An army marches on its stomach, so we will be living off of beer and pies for the weekend. I believe the conditions are to be favourable for the coming weekend. So come with us to the cathdral of Melbourne, the Mighty G, and worship the big men flying. The games we have chosen are as follows.

1. Collingwood (boo) V Hawthorn Fri 28th MCG 7.40pm
2. St Kilda V Richmond Sat 29th MCG 2.10pm
3. Essendon V Brisbane Lions Sat 29th Telsra Dome 7.10pm
4. Melbourne V Western Bulldogs Sun 30th MCG 2.10pm

So if your elected team happens to be playing in one of those matches, come on this ride with us.

*Davethescot and Dirty Derek accept no responsibility for your team losing or the state of inebriation.

Did I Miss A Memo?

Should Australia not be on the right side of the page, or have they done a backflip and our man of steel is not in dubya's pocket?

What To Say?

So we were on our way to a dinner with one of the guys who wants me to manage his band. It was going to be a lovely night, his wife was going to be doing the cooking, there house was near where we have applied for one, they are a spunky couple la de la...

Then as we were driving up The Avenue, I see a fluffy blue thing in the middle of the road, it looks like an animal, it is an animal, its a beautiful Persian kitty. And some fucker has hit it and just driven off. Kerry got out and stroked it and found a number on the collar. I called, but it was for a vet and the number went to message bank. The cat was still warm so it had obviously not happened very long ago.

We looked around the area, there were some lights on in the pretty houses. We approached one.

"Do you have a cat?"

Girl bursts in to tears.

Looks like we have found the house, it was the first one we have tried.

It was a share house, about five people pour out of the house in varying degrees of distress. They see the cat in the middle of the road and the stress responses increase tenfold.

One girl screams at us. "Bastards", and is taken back into the house.

The boy picks the cat up off the road and moves her across to the pavement, apparently they have only had her five months, and she is not to road wise.

The girl who called us bastards, well she is more upset than anyone, apparently her grandmother died two days ago.

We explain that we did not kill the cat, but it feels like they still blame us, because we were the ones to break it to them.

It didn't feel at all nice.

Am I Getting Old????

Now as some of you may know I work in a music venue. A music venue that has had its' fair share of noise complaints. Because of this I am wary of booking extremely loud bands during the week. I don't want to piss the neighbour's off and give them reason to complain. Thursday, Friday and Saturday I book louder bands.

However last night when I got home and crawled into bed after a night of well fought trivia, all I could hear was doof, doof, dddrrrrooooof, dooof, dooof. At the moment I live opposite a club called the Spot on Sydney road. It is open till one and I have not really had any problem with it. Last night though the constant doof, doof, ddddrrrroooooof had an effect on me. It was after all a Tuesday night. I tried to sleep and ignore it, after all it was nearly one 'o' clock.

But oh no. 1 'o' clock came and still doof, doof, dddddrrrrroooooof, it went on.

So at ten minutes to two I phoned the venue.

Me: Hi there do you think you could turn the music down?

Bar guy: Sorry what, I can't hear you

Me: hello, could you turn the music down mate, it's two in the mornin on a Tuesday night.

Bar Guy: Hi mate you will need to speak up it's a bit loud down here.

Me: Yes I know, that is why I am calling. Can you turn it down a bit I can hear it from across the street.

Bar Guy: Really? Where are you?

Me: Opposite the bar, on Sydney road.

Bar Guy: On Sydney road?

Me: Yes, on Sydney road and I can hear it in my bedroom, it's really quite loud.

Bar Guy: OK , weird.

Me: Well can you please turn it down a bit, thanks.

So I think he turned it down an infinitesimal amount and continued to doof, doof, dddddrrrooof till three am.

Oh my god I thought, I've become one of them.

Way To Get My Hopes Up!!!

Headline in the online version of the Herald Sun

Rogue traders jailed

Woo hoo, yes their performance in the Big Brother house was atrocious, and the young people of Australia should be protected from this sort of thing.

But alas no. The real story is about a couple of dodgy merchant bankers from the NAB.

Ah well we live in hope.